I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Randomize
