he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
