how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
