ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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