Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
