so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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