i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I see more hoeing in ur future
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