somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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