if you like me you must not know who I am
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
are you so shy because you have an std?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
