Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
