You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
