i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
