Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
