I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
