its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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