If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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