By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
