chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
