Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Randomize
