we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
