none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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