she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I will pee on everything he values.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Randomize
