can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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