If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
you will always have a special place in my vag
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
