I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
