I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
