Soap is not a condiment
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
