stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
