She is in my trunk
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
