hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
