Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
