man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
