i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
