Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
