We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
