I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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