That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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