Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
