Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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