some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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