I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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