Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
