I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Randomize
