I just threw up on my dentist
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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