Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
