i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
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