Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
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