My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Randomize
