So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
