can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
time to smoke my breakfast
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
