So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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