I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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