either way he was missing a nipple.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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