isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
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